Because She Wasn't You
by IhaveAlotOfFeelings
Summary: After the mocking jay, Peeta and Katniss grow back together, romantically and eventually sexually. This is the first time they ever spent together in a sexual manor. One shot of there first time


**Authors note: This is what I imagined how Peeta and Katniss would spend there first time together. I have read a lot of 'first time fan ficitions' that just seem so out of character and I personally would consider unrealistic, this is my take on it. This is my FIRST every smut, so it's obviously not going to be as good as some Everlark smut out there.**

I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children. But his arms are there to comfort me. And so are his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that took over me on the beach, I know this would of happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our loses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.

When he leans into me and whispers "You love me, real or not real?"

I tell him, "Real."

Our lips meet and I allow our tongues to explore each other. A familiar feeling starts to kindle within me. I recall the first time it happened, in the first hunger games. Any memories from that past makes me feel pain that is almost unbearable; but this is one of the few good ones. I remember wishing I could pull the shutters closed, blocking out that moment from the prying eyes of Panem. Even if it meant loosing food that we desperately needed. Whatever I felt, it's no one's business but mine. It was the first kiss that we were both fully aware of. Neither of us hobbled by sickness or pain or simply unconsciousness. Our lips neither burning or icy cold. It was the first kiss where I actually felt a stirring inside my chest. Warm and curious. It was the first kiss that made me want another.

Peeta kisses my cheek, then my neck, as if to be letting go, to sleep. I pull his face gently back to mine, and look into his eyes. The bright blue eyes that are longer clouded with pain and torture, but love and infatuation. "I need you" I whisper.

His eyes widen a little and looks at me as if to be discovering what I am insinuating. I begin caress his body and tug at his shirt, trying to pull it off. he pulls it back down pulling way. "Katniss, are you sure you what to do this?" he asks hesitantly, with worry in his voice.

Only Peeta would be so considerate, instead of following the feelings that I'm certain are blooming inside of him. "Yes" I answer, he leans his head back towards me cupping my neck once more, like he did in the quarter quell on the beach.

I tug at his shirt again, but this time he lets me remove it. His shirt comes off swiftly and he quickly dismisses it to the floor before returning to my gaze. His arm leans on the bed as I lie on my back. His arms drift around my body, cupping my bust over my shirt. It gives me a sensation that radiates my body craving more. I feel Peeta press against my leg. "Peeta" I let out. I feel his hand drift down my stomach and under my Pajamas and I feel him about to touch me in places I haven't even explored myself, but he stops and looks up at me.

I look up as his eyes meet mine. He looks down then back to me. "Katniss.. have you ever done anything like this before?" he asks worried. Never have I ever been so close to someone as I am in this moment. I never realized until now that there is one part of me that is innocent left. I feel awkward at the thought and my body tenses. Peeta notices my discomfort and pulls his body and hands away entirely.

"no it's okay." i saying pulling his arms back to me, to ignite the burning inside of me. "I'm just embarrassed because I haven't." I say looking away. "Have you?" I question curiously looking back towards him.

"sort of." he sighs.

a ping of jealousy runs through me. I do my best to deny it showing on my face, but I doubt it's working. I don't no why i feel jealous, I shouldn't. I should of suspected it if anything.

"I've kissed another girl, and felt her breasts." he answers also embarrassed. "But we never went any further."

"why?" I ask

 **"Because she wasn't you."** he looks up and catches me admiring his gentle face, all the emotional scars that riddle it. I look away but before I can do anything else he brings his face to mine and our lips met once more.

We spend time exploring our bodies. I want to feel every crevice of his body and I want Peeta to feel mine. He takes off my pajama shirt reveling my breasts and scars; that were left behind after the explosion of the parachutes. He traces my scars teasing the lust that grows within me. "You're so beautiful Katniss" Peeta whispers. His hand eventually drifts down until he reaches the only pure part of my body that's left. But then a thought reaches me. I don't _want_ to have anything pure left. I want it to be the same as ever other inch of myself.

"Katniss, this might hurt. I'm worried of hurting you." he whispers worried.

"It's okay Peeta." i say softly grazing his jawline, feeling the stubble that is beginning to grow. "I want this." He slips his hands underneath my briefs.

He begins to sink his fingers within and I can feel the tightening pain. I try not to yelp and keep myself quiet. For Peetas sake not mine, I want him to enjoy this and have it everything he wants it to be. I distract myself with the sweet kisses Peeta is always able to give me. The feelings in my stomach continue to develop as I crave more of him.

After the tightening and pain begins to lessen, I pull away from our kiss and caress his face, I look into his eyes and nod. Giving him permission to move forward.

He rests himself between my legs and adjusts himself but stops awkwardly. "Is.. everything okay?" I ask shyly. Have I done something wrong?

I feel the cold from his prosthetic leg against my shin. Peeta looks at me and smiles. "Yeah it just can be a bit awkward sometimes." he says motioning to the metal-and-plastic device that now replaces were is leg once was. I smile in relief and Peeta returns to our kiss as he begins to rest his hips against mine. I can feel the steady rhythm as Peeta buries himself inside of me. The heat within me rises as I let Peeta have every part a human can have to another person. I hear Peetas sweet moans and murmur my name. I can't help but do the same.

His rhythm becomes faster as our voices become bolder and I can't help but sink into the pleasure that consumes every nerve in my body. The sensation of his body against mine gives me a feeling I never knew I had. As our foreheads press together Peeta dissolves into within me. We both pant, out of breath both smiling at each other. Peeta Pulls out and rests his head on my chest.

"I can't believe we just did that" I admit.

"Neither." replies Peeta. "it was everything I imagined it to be." he adds smiling, I smile back in return. We spend a long time in this position, just holding each other.

After the rebellion I never thought that Peeta would find love within me again. I never thought he would recover from the hijacking and be holding me safe again. But here we are, as close as you can ever be with another human being. "I love you" I whisper as I kiss his the top of his head, like he does with me. "I love you too" he murmurs, and with that, we both fall asleep.


End file.
